


Time and distance

by yungi_min



Category: Min Yoongi - Fandom, agust d - Fandom, bangtan sonyeondan, bts, suga - Fandom, yoongi - Fandom, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Breakup, F/M, Long Distance Relationship, Sad, Sappy, Smut, Yoongi x reader smut, bts fanfic, bts smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-05-25 21:41:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14986199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yungi_min/pseuds/yungi_min
Summary: She wasn’t staying in this town and he wasn’t leaving it either.





	1. Chicken and Beer

**Author's Note:**

> To Rustedangel, i miss you. 
> 
> The title is a one time thing. I just picked it from the corners of my brain. Im sorry this is the first time I’m doing this and I feel weird (??)
> 
> Shout out to Rustedangel, my favorite AO3 writer. Gurl, pls come out of that cave your hiding in, i miss you. And with that said, this ff is inspired by her work and i tried to take after her tone on “sober”.  
> Also, “500 days of summer” is no. 1 on my chick flick list which is why I decided to open this story with it. Watch it if you haven’t.  
> Fun fact: i listened to sad songs while writing this. Yes I’m dead inside.

“What happened?! That’s what I don’t  
get.”  
“I... Tom...”  
“What, tell me...”  
“I woke up one day and I knew.. I knew I could promise him I’d feel the same way every morning. In a way that I... I never could with you.”  
“You know what sucks? Realizing that everything you believe in is complete bullshit.”  
“What is?”  
“Destiny, soulmates, true love. All that stuff. It’s nothing more than silly childhood fairy tale nonsense, isn’t it? God!”  
“Tom, don’t go.”  
“I should have listened to you, Summer. You were right all along.”  
“I was right? HAHAHAHAHA...”  
“What? This is funny? What are you laughing at? Hahahahah. You’re a crazy person!”  
“Tom! You’re the crazy person!”  
“What are you talking about?”  
“One day I’m reading a book at the corner deli and this guy sits down and starts asking about it. Now he’s my husband!”  
“This is funny to you?”  
“What would have happened if I went  
to the movies instead? If I went somewhere else for lunch? If I showed up to eat ten minutes later? Tom, it was meant to be, just like you said. And as it was happening, I knew it. I could feel it, sure as the sun. And I kept thinking to myself ‘Holy shit. Tom was right.’ You were right about all of it. It just wasn’t me you were right about.”

 

Her intense focus on the movie was interrupted by the sudden ping from her phone. And as she had hoped, it was him. Her heart dropped to her stomach when she finally saw his name on her inbox. ‘Jesus, finally!’ She thought.

“can I come over?”

It was 2 months since they last saw each other and bickered. 2 months since they last heard each other’s voices and argued over the phone. 2 months since they decided they both needed space to breathe, space to calm down, space to recollect their thoughts, and space to accept the situation and think of a solution.

“Yeah. Not busy anyway.”

They had been together for more than 3 years now. They met at Uni when Yoongi was a senior and She was only a freshman. Took them a while to click and get comfortable with each other but eventually they got past that phase and ended up dating until it became official. Yoongi is a song writer/producer now which meant he owned his time and it’s because of this that time was never an issue for them. She works at a Rehab center in town and it’s because of this that distance was never an issue for them.

Right when the movie was done, just 11 minutes after he texted—yes, she counted, Yoongi knocked on the door twice—she’s still counting. She basically floated to the door and opened it as slowly as she could. It was 63 days since she last saw him—finally, she can stop counting now.

“Jagi—”  
“I missed you.”

He cut her off but she didn’t mind it at all because that’s the last thing she cared about at that moment. What bothered her though was the sour acid that she could feel taking her stomach by storm and the harsh pressure that she could feel tugging in and on her heart. It was painful to look at him. It took her a while to compose herself but didn’t take even a second before she noticed his hair, locking weirdly like he hasn’t been combing it—she missed running her fingers through his hair—, his eyes, spent and cloudy—she hopes he would sleep over tonight—his lips, pink and rough from the cracks—oh the things she’d do to those lips and hydrate them again. Yoongi was still looking down, focusing on the doormat, hands in his pocket and hair tucked in his beanie with some of his fringe peeking out, dangling and covering a part of his face but she could still map it out like a prism managing to push a rainbow with only half of the light. ‘Go away’ Yoongi mentally read from the door mat ‘WTF kind of cat cartoon is this’ he added in his mind.

“Jagiya—“  
“Please, no.” He finally looked up to meet her gaze. ‘Shit’ she thought. He looked dead.  
“C’mon Yoongi. We can’t run away from this anymore. We’ve already wasted so much time as it is.”  
“Not tonight.”

Yoongi took a step forward, his stance was slow but huge, taking away the space between them in a single breath. He took her face in one hand, the other still in his pocket. “Please, jagiya, not tonight”  
They examined each other’s faces. The sadness, the pain, the confusion, and the love obviously painted on their glassy eyes, droopy lids, flushed cheeks, and tensed lips. They mirrored each other so well. Yoongi dipped his head, putting his lips on hers as she slowly tilted her head back to meet him half-way. The kiss was warm and it was hard not to notice the longing that lingered around it.

“I missed you” Yoongi breathed out between their lips and immediately went back to kissing her. “So much” he added.  
“Yoongi, I’m sorry” she said messily as they paused to breathe.

Yoongi let go of her and took a step back, his face easily went from hungry to angry.

“I said not tonight, didn’t I?” He hid his hand back into his pocket as he turned his head as if to look away from her.  
“I just need you to know that I’m sorry. That’s all.... for now”

He turned his gaze back to her and stood there, breathing steady, pulse insane, and sanity lost. He hated how easily the relationship went on for years yet managed to go all messy and confusing and hard. He took a deep breath.

“When are you leaving?”  
“I have chicken and beer in the fridge. Why don’t you come in first?”

They both stayed silent as he settled at the counter and she propped food on it.

“I’m set to leave in 4 days” she finally answered after sitting down across the boy, staring at him and studying his reaction as he was looking out the window.

He took a swig of beer—

“Not tonight”

—and slumped it back on the counter top. Their eyes met and she gave him a crooked smile. He got up and went to her side, taking her hips as he softly put his lips on hers. She locked him in her legs as the kiss grew deeper and his hands were traveling to her face and hers caressed his arms. He took her by the ass and carried her, never breaking the kiss, all the way to her room and as he pulled away to catch his breath and sat her down on the edge of the bed, he noticed the luggages on the floor, one was still opened, half-full with her clothes.  
He was staring at it and got lost in thought until she reached for the collar of his hoodie and pulled him down so his body was bending down, face close to hers.

“I miss you” she said, trying to get his attention back.

He held her nape and went in again for a kiss, harder this time. He felt the anger, frustration, and sadness spiral around his stomach. He couldn’t believe she actually chose to leave him behind. His mood and feelings were reflected on his movements and the way he was touching her: hard and hasty. He ran his hand on her back in a swift motion as he pushed her down on the bed. She took in a gasp of air, surprised at the sudden change of atmosphere, pushing herself up with her elbows and used one leg to push herself to the farther end of the bed as Yoongi climbed on the bed and on his knees then letting himself fall forward and using his hand to support him so that he’s on all fours. He pulled his beanie off and threw it on the floor, leaving his hair messily over his forehead as he crawled on top of her and kissed her collar bones then dragged his tongue to her neck, kissing it and grazing his teeth on her skin. He put wet kisses around her neck, leaving love marks that easily turned darker every second, shades of purple and red peaking through her soft white skin. He took her breasts in his hands as he slowly positioned himself on top of her to straddle her at her girdle. He continued on with stroking her clothed breasts, giving it hard squeezes that put her on edge. He studied her reaction to his touch, watching her throw her head back and push her chest up, tighter into his hands. The sight of her with closed eyes and parted lips was getting him harder than he already was. He was grinding slowly on her and the feeling of his crotch getting harder and harder was giving her breath more weight. He pulled her shirt up, taking it off with a single motion, leaving her exposed. She rarely ever wears underwear when she’s at home and the thought of this always had him excited every time he payed her a visit. Yoongi dove into her chest taking one boob in his hand and the other in his mouth.

“Mhhhmm, baby” She breathed as he slowly worked his tongue on her nipples. She was still pushing her chest up and back again, creating waves on her torso and fisting on his hair so hard, she could feel her nails digging into her palms. He pulled away and did the same to the other boob all while keeping a steady pace in grinding on her. He pulled while sucking on her nipple, stretching it and gaining a sharp moan from her. He then rested his face on her chest,

“Shit, I missed this” he said with a raspy and deep voice. He was then pecking on her boobs up to her sternum, collar, neck, and finally her lips, pushing his tongue into her mouth and when he was allowed access, their tongues danced and he then bit her lower lip, tugging it slightly as he pulled away. She hastily pulled off his shirt, feeling a weight building up on her core. He then pushed the waistband of her pajama down and he continued to take her pajamas off and finally kicked it away. He cupped her thing in his hand and slipped his fingers between the lips.

“So fucking wet for me, as always jagi.”

His voice deep and breath hot as he whispered against the crook of her neck.

“Ahhh, Yoongi. Please”  
“Hmmm? Please what, darling?”  
“Fuck me. Please”

She pushed her pelvis up to his touch and rode his hands.

“Oh I will, honey. But first I need you to be a babe and suck me. Can you do that?”  
“Mmhhmm.”

He slightly dipped a finger into the entrance, teasing her, and withdrew his hand as he laid beside her. He zipped down his pants and took them off and then his boxers while she collected herself and watched him getting fully naked. She straddled his hips, her wetness gliding on his hard stick shift. She put her hands against his chest, grinding heavily in an increasing rhythm and moaning all over the place. Even though he was so into it, he gathered up all the courage he had left to remind her—

“Baby, you do know you’re not getting fucked unless you actually suck me,right?”  
“Babe, please? I can’t stop, it’s too painful”  
“Mmmhhmmm don’t you dare cum.”

— he sat up, supporting her back so she doesn’t fall back, and scooted away from her touch—to which she whined. He stroke himself with one hand while the other took her nape, kissing her neck and up to her ears, nipping at the lobe and whispered

“Please, baby. I want to see you choking on my dick.”

She felt an electric current snake from the back of her ear down to her core as she imagined herself drowning in his girth. She ran her fingers down his chest and said;

“Or you could just choke me, I don’t care”

They were eyeing each other and she could see his gaze widen and darken, like a shark smelling blood. Yoongi couldn’t take it, he immediately threw her on the bed. Which took her by surprise. They must have missed each other so much ‘cause they were never this rough. He spread her legs further apart and went between them. While he hovered, he smashed into her hole without warning which made her scream his name so loud, she was scared the neighbors might have heard it. Tears were welling on the corners of her eyes as she was humming and moaning in a rhythm, along with Yoongi’s thrusts. It’s almost as if she was singing and fuck was it music to his ears. She was so focused on the feeling of his dick ramming in her and she thought of how unbelievably hard he felt. It burned her walls and it was so painful but she was enjoying it.

“Holy shit baby, how did you manage to get tighter?” Said Yoongi while picking up his pace.  
“Aahhh. Two.. m-months. Babe” her voice was rusty and she couldn’t speak clearly, moans getting louder as his pace quickened and his pace getting quicker as her voice got louder. He pulled out and turned her around so she was on all fours and slid into her again.

“A-almost.. baby.” She warned.

Yoongi knelt up as he cradled her by her stomach so they were both up. She arched her back and reached for his hair, face trying to turn to him while he put one arm around her boobs and the other hand cupping and playing with her folds. He went in for a kiss and it was sloppy.

“Ahhh! More!”  
“Yeah? You like that?” He said while smirking.  
“Y-yes. Im cumming. Please, yoongi. M-make me.. cum”

His pace quickened and his thrusts deeper.

“Shit. Yes, baby” she claimed

His rhythm got harsher now—

“How dare you decide to leave me.”

—and she felt his anger and frustration. And fuck did his anger and frustrations hurt like hell. What he said took her off-guard.

“Fuck!” she spitted. Maybe because Yoongi was riding her so well, her head was gonna blow, but most probably because it dawned on her—

“FUUUCK! YOONGI!”

— shit. Fuck. This. Was. A. Break-up. Sex.

“Mmmhhmm, scream my name baby.”  
“AAHHH YOONGI” tears finally streaming down her face as she rode her high.

“Ahhh. Shit, baby” Yoongi came and she could feel the warm goop filling her up.  
He pulled out as they both shuddered, laid her on the bed and kissed her neck then traced it to her lips. Pecked it three times and then he fell on his back. He then took her in after catching his breath, putting one leg across hers and one hand across her torso, kissing her hair and staying close—

“i love you so much, it hurts” he said. They were both still panting. He sunk his face into the curve of her neck, kissing the marks he made—

“Yoongi”  
“Hmm?” —he nuzzled the tip of his nose along the skin of her neck and below her ear.  
“There is no way of fixing this, isn’t there?”

Silence. He’s still nuzzling.

“This is us? We just agree to disagree now? How- - -“  
“Shhh. Jagi.”

She just knew this was the end for them. They both had great things ahead of each other. So great that it was impossible to turn their backs from it. They chose their selves and that’s okay. If anything, it’s a good reason.  
She wasn’t staying in this town and he wasn’t leaving it either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG. *bathes in holy water*  
> Let me know what you think
> 
> Let’s be friends. I love making new friends. And please. Lmao  
> twt: @_yungi_min_


	2. Planes and Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This goes out to everyone who are sick of happy endings :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be a casual Chapter filled with dialogues. I just wanted to give them closure before actually leaving this story behind me.  
> Also there's a scene where they have a car conversation with Elliot Smith's /Between the bars/ playing in the background, I got the inspiration from a movie called "Stuck in Love". It's a pretty good movie, you should see it.  
> I want to thank my Vane unnie for convincing me to write in the first place. I love you ma. (and you too Tin unnie.) I'll see you both real soon.

"Wake-up" he was gently shaking her shoulders. "Jagi, wake-up" his voice hoarse and sleepy and calm. 

 She was probably still worn-out from the mean fucking they did but he didn't take that into consideration because if they were going to talk, it had to be now. 

 "Jagiyaa.." he shook her a little more violently this time, enough to finally take her away from her slumber. She squinted, looked at the clock on her bedside table 

 3:24 am

"Are you awake?" 

"What the fuck, jagi" she complained, voice rough and deeper than normal. She rubbed her eyes to get a clearer look at him. It was dark but the street lights from outside reflected on his face and gave it a yellow tint. How does someone manage to look like a god in poor lighting? Hell, even without any. 

 "What do you want?" She asked. 

"You wanted to talk" 

"Baby, right now I want to sleep. What are you doing?" She pulled the covers up and over her face--

"We only have four—make that three— days left."  --as he tried to pull it down to stop her from hiding under the blanket and going back to sleep. 

 "Please" he whined. 

She quickly sat-up, taking him by surprise. 

"Why is it so important to you that we do this now?" Her voice was livelier now and her tone rushed.

"I just feel like i want to stop wasting time" 

She took a deep breath. "Fine." 

 They both sighed. And there was silence. 

 "Can we go to a diner or something? I'm kinda hungry. I forgot how having sex with you was this much work." He said with a smirk.

"What the hell, Yoongi?" She was giggling while she cursed him, head thrown back and lips curving up in protest and it hurt his heart with every short inhale of air she was taking because he loves her laugh so much and he loves her so much and he can't believe he's in a position where he will be forced to let that all go. 

 

They drove to the nearest 24/7 restaurant and got themselves food. Both sporting on thin pajamas, in full confidence that the place won't be packed since it was either crazy late or crazy early a time for people to be up.

A waitress came up to them, her gait all zombie-like. "Ready to order?"

"Let's do something we have never done before." Yoongi suggested, not minding to even open the menu, eyes set on her.

"Oh, like eating at a fast food chain in see-through pajamas?" She said while scanning the menu.

She turned to the waitress who almost looked like she had scotch tapes sticking up her eyelids to her brows to keep her eyes open "Two ox bone soups please" she knew what he wanted without having to ask.

"Something brave." He said.

"Would that be all?" The waitress butted in.

She turned to the waitress-- "Yes." --and back at him. "Like eating in the car?" She joked. At the back of her mind she thought of how Yoongi was careful with his car's interior, to which, he would never agree to eating there.

"Okay. Your food will take 10 minutes to prepare." Said the waitress, chiming in between their conversation again.

"Ha! That'll do. Eating in the car is brave." He waved at the waitress, "Please make that to go."

"Why the sudden channeling of the dare devil, babe?" she asked as she shifted to lean against the backrest of her chair, examining Yoongi.

"I'll need an excuse, a drawback. I'm not gonna like our conversation later and I don't want to remember this spontaneous trip to  _Sinseon Seolleongtang_ with //that// conversation as the highlight."

She hummed in acknowledgement bobbing her head as if she was nodding. They both sat in silence and listened intently as a generic K-pop song playing over the speakers starts fading away. One of Yoongi's produced songs then came up and they both looked at each other, smiling, still silent. Silent but excited, silent but proud, silent but flustered.

"Ahh, jagiya you did well with  _Let me know._ " She complimented him but at the back of her mind she thought why of all songs, this had to be the one that played.

 

 

Their car was the only one at the parking lot and they went ahead and ate there with the windows rolled down and  **/THE 1975/**  blasting on the car's sound system. Despite the annoying care Yoongi had with his car, he carelessly ate the soup while they sang along to the entire  **1975**  playlist. 'We'll talk once we finish eating' he thought. He still wasn't ready for it but it isn't like he was left with a choice either. 'Okay, maybe once the playlist ends' he was still in his thoughts. 

As a person, Yoongi hated uncertainty, he hated it when something wasn't clear, but right now, he was okay with being unsure because right now, unsure seemed better than having nothing at all. This conversation would put all the confusion into place and he knew /place/ was a world without her. He hated complications but he would gladly take this complicated situation, this complicated status just for that little bit of claim. But their soup was simple, and the song was clear in his ears and people eventually reach the bottom of the bowl and playlists don't continue playing forever. There's always an end and it can go two ways; the end could mean a full stomach or the end could be empty ears.

_Oh I was thinking bout killing myself, don't you mind  
I love you, don't you mind, don't you mind_

As she realized that they reached the end of the playlist, she put her ipod on shuffle. It started drizzling outside, and they were cleaning up after theirselves. He took the trash and went out to throw it. As he came back to the car, his heart pounded as loud as the car door banged shut. 

"So.." She began.

"So," parked car conversations used to be great. This one sucked.

Silence.

"Where-- Ho-- How do we start this?" He asked.

"It's really not that extensive of a subject, Yoongi."

He looked down at his hands that were resting on the steering wheel. 

"What questions are running in your mind anyway?" She asked.

"There's a lot, actually." He turned his head to look her in the eye. "But one is so loud, it's hard to ignore."

"What is it?"

"Why was it so easy for you to decide, Y/N?"

She looked down, and she hated it. They weren't even 5 minutes in to the conversation and her throat was already burning, her eyes flooding, but she tried to suck it up. 'Just a little longer.', She told herself.

"It wasn't." Her voice small and cracked.

"No?" His anger peeking through "It took you a day from when they offered you that job to say yes. Did you even consider me when you were weighing your decision? Was I even on the Pro-Con list?"

Silence.

"Please, answer me because I'm going crazy thinking why I'm not worth a second thought,"

"Yoongi, I did think about the consequences, okay? I didn't stop thinking about it ever since I left the conference room up until I went back in there to give an answer."

"Sure." 

Silence.

"Did they even at least give you a 24 hour deadline?" He asked.

"No. Honestly, I was eager to get it."

"And there you have it." He threw his hands up as if gesturing surrender, almost pissed.

"Jagiya." She was pleading but she didn't know what for. Should she be pleading for him to stop? Should she be pleading for him to understand her? Should she be pleading for him to go to Minnesota with her? She wasn't sure. and it didn't matter because it was clear that he wasn't leaving, it was clear that she wasn't staying, it was clear that there's no way of fixing this.

"NO. Don't 'jagiya' me, Y/N. Did you know how painful it was for me how one day I got a call from you asking me to come over and the next you called to say you were going to leave for good?"

"I'm really sorry, Yoongi. Truly." The lump got heavier now. 'fuck. just a bit longer' she thought to her self. 

"Well, so am I." His eyes were flooding and it sucked because he didn't want to break in front of her. "I'm sorry for feeling this way but you won't be so happy if it was me leaving you for music. But hey, to be fair, if it were me I'd consult you first. I mean even if my mind is fixed on it, at least I'd give you a bit of time to stretch." He snapped, snidely showing her where she went wrong.

"That's not fair, Yoongi. I'm about to take up a huge challenge and I shouldn't feel guilty for it. You never even cared to congratulate me or blandly tell me that you were proud of me for finally being able to get a merit scholarship for   **Mayo clinic**  and be part of their research team. Do you even know how big this is for me? It's fucking  **Mayo clinic** , Yoongi! Can you--"

"I get it!" He cut her off. "I got it the first time you told me and the other ten after that."

"I won the lottery." She spat the metaphor with a squeaked voice, like someone was stepping on her voice box.

"That's the thing, Jagiya. To me, you are the lottery."

Silence. 'fuck this' she thought to herself as her tears came rushing down like Niagara. Neither of them can see each other clearly because of their hazy, washed up eyes,

"You are the lottery to me." His voice just as broken as hers, losing tone, "but I wasn't for you."

"No, Yoongi, of course you are."

"No, I wasn't. But that's okay. I don't want you to apologize for it, especially since you don't need to. Our priorities are different and that's nothing to be sorry for."

There was just a minute of sobbing after that and the intensity started dying down. 

"Baby, I'm sorry." He said, as he held her drenched face with both his hands, almost big enough to cup her entire head. "I am proud of you, even if I hadn't said it out loud. You are great in your field and you deserve recognition." He wiped her tears, and his hands fell down to hold her shoulders, then down to her hands. "I was just jealous."

"What?"

"This would have been so much less painful if I had lost you to someone else because I could have just easily fought off some other guy. But here I am, losing you to your own self, losing you to your dream. What kind of fight do I have against that?"

"I'm sorry, Yoongi. I really am." She hugged him, resting her face on his chest, her cries got louder, and she was inhaling his scent as she kept up with her breathing. The rain getting heavier was no big help either.

"Shhh. It's okay." He wrapped his arms around her and stroked her hair, down to her back. "It's okay, jagi." but it's not, and if only we lived in a world where apologies saved us from pain, he would totally be telling the truth right now. But we don't and the more she apologized, the more it hurt for him because getting an apology only meant that she wasn't changing her mind. 

 _People you've been before that you_  
_Don't_ _want_ _around_ _anymore_  
_That_ _push_ _and_ _shove_ _and_ _won't_ _bend_ _to_ _your_ _will_  
_I'll_ _keep_ _them_ _still_

"We should go, before the sun rises on us. You need to sleep, baby. Your eyes look like i punched you or something." He faintly chuckled as he let her go and put her seat-belt on for her.

"So does yours."

"I bet it's not as bad." He turned on the ignition after strapping his own seat-belt, smirking at her and they drove home. 

She rested her head against the car window, closed her heavy eyes and felt the music that was playing in the background.

"What's going to happen?" She asked.

"You know how it will go." His gaze was steady on the road and she didn't say anything as more tears came out at the edge of her shut eyes. "As soon as you leave Korean area of responsibility, so do you leave commitments behind." he answered her anyway. There was a long pause and his turn signal clicked in a rhythm and once it stopped, he continued; "and that includes me." She was crying again, but silently this time, pretending to be asleep. When they got home, they immediately crawled into bed and stayed covered under the sheets, away from the complications of the outside world. Here on the bed, in the soft white blanket that smelled like fresh laundries, they had their own world and it was warm and happy. They closed their eyes and with their breaths steadying, they drift into sleep. If this was any other day, they would sleep with the promise of tomorrow but this wasn't like any other day because this was a day closer to the end of their relationship.

 

 

_2 months ago:_

_Me (10:31am):_  JAGIYA! can I call? r u busy?

 _Bub bub (10:31am):_ in a meeting. are you ok??? 

 _Me (10:32am):_ Yes yes. im awesome. call me when ur done?

 _Bub bub (10:33am):_ ok. talk later :*

 

By 11:30, Yoongi's meeting was done. He walked out of the office, immediately checking his phone. 

"Already missing someone, Syub?" Namjoon said as he tapped Yoongi's shoulder.

"Ah, just trying to reach someone." he said with a smile.

"Are you coming with us for lunch?" Jin, who was eavesdropping at the back, asked.

"I'll see what I can do."

"Come with us Yoongi-ssi, you're always with Y/N anyway." said Hobi who joined the conversation.

"Ayyyshh, leave the man alone. He's probably already made plans anyway." Taehyung, who passed between his hyungs, went up to hold Yoongi's shoulders "Seriously, hyung. I'm starting to get jealous."

"So am I, hyung. Eat with us. Tae-tae said if Bang Shi Hyuk was in a good mood today, he will treat us lunch." Jungkook chimed in. 

"Jinja? Well then, I'm extra glad he was in a good mood." said Hobi with a smile that can light the entire office.

"YA! You guys are planning lunch without me?" Jimin joined in.

"Yes and I'm treating as long as Yoongi hyung comes with us," Taehyung said with an evil smirk, followed by a series of "ayyshh", "c'mon Yoongi-hyung" and "ahhh, jinja this kid" by the other boys.

"shh! I said I'll see what I can do. Now, leave me alone, I need to make a call," Yoongi said in a series of pouts and gummy smiles as he pressed dial and walked away, leaving the excited guys behind.

"Hyung, we leave in 30 minutes!" yelled Hobi from the back. To which, Yoongi raised a thumb up in the air as if to acknowledge it as he walked down to Genius lab.

 

 _Annyeong nae sarang._ Her tone was shaky like excited and scared met each other but didn't end-up so well.

 _"_ Hi. What's with you? You sound weird." 

_Lunch together?_

"Yup. As long as you tell me what's going on."

_Ahh, let me tell you over lunch._

"No, I hate anticipation. It's disappointing sometimes, scary most of the times." He said as he closed the door to his studio.

_It's really not something you should talk over the phone about._

"Give me an idea."

_Okaayy... well, I'm invited to be a part of Mayo's clinical program and scholarship. The program is called a Bipolar disorder biobank and it's in Minnesota._

"Wow, jagiya. That's great. How long would it be?"

_As long as I can bear._

"Oh."

_Yoongi, I'm going to have to live there._

"This is gonna be a long lunch of discussions then." Yoongi said with half a smile. "Better bring my yellow pad for another pro-con list." Lists were their thing, it's how they make practically every decision they ever made, big or small. A pro-con list saved Yoongi from getting a cat but eventually adopting a brown toy poodle a few months later. Pro-con lists helped them decide where to go for date nights, whether or not to spend their savings on a trip to Japan, to which they did and it turned out great as Yoongi met his favorite character. It was an on going system.

_Uhm Yoongi, t-that's the thing. I- I sort of already decided._

"Sorry, what?" He was in between proud and sad to hear the news, maybe leaning in more towards the sad, but he tried to stay as happy as he could for her but he stopped trying when he heard how she already decided on her own. He understood that it would be very unfair to stop her from doing big things and he wasn't mad because of that. He was mad because why would they bother making a pro-con list on getting a mint chocolate chip versus a strawberry cheesecake flavored ice-cream but not even try making one for whether she should go or not? She didn't try to consult with him before landing in a choice and this hurt him and people who are hurt act mad to mask it.

_I'm going, jagiya._

"What do we need to talk about over lunch then, if you're all set on this?" His voice got deeper, tone stern and intimidating.

_About us? Where we go from here?_

"What? No. You don't get to burden me with what next steps we should both take in this relationship after deciding on your own that you'll be living in Minnesota. No. Count me out."

_Yoongi--_

"If you can give me time to process this, that would be great. In the mean time, you may figure out what to do next."

_Yoongi, wait! Don't hang up. Please, don't hang up._

"What?"

_Don't be upset please. This doesn't have to be a dilemma. We don't have to break-up. Who says we have to break-up?_

"See, if you had given me the chance to make this choice with you, you would have known that I don't believe in long distance relationships."

 _But-but why?_ Her voice was breaking and it wasn't because of a chappy line

"You don't get to ask me anymore, Y/N. I'm hanging up now. Don't bother calling."

 

 _Me (11:32am):_ Hobi-ya! u still in Hope world?

 _Smile hoya (11:32am):_ Ne, yoongi-ssi. about to leave. u comin with us?

 _Me (11:33am):_ Yup. 

 _Smile hoya (11:33am):_ Wah. i'm suddenly so excited. Taehyung better have his card with him kkk.

 _Me (11:33am):_ I'm ready to take advantage of it. See u at the entrance?

 _Smile hoya (11:34am):_ Let's get him broke. See u, hyung!

 

 

It was a beautiful day in Incheon, probably the universe's way of balancing out the gloom of the day's events. Yoongi decided to send her off at the airport. It was a war with himself at first as he was on edge about airport goodbyes. He had never parted ways with her since they started dating, not even for a few days. Everything else had just been so convenient for them which made all of this sudden. Yoongi used to think how he was supposed to loose her slowly at first and then all at once, because that's how the universe used to take the good things, it gave, back  from people. So why was it a one-time thing? How did she suddenly slip from his grip?

"You're really not going to change your mind? This is your last chance to change your mind if you're ever going to stay here." He was half joking, Pushing a cart full of boxes and suitcases anyway as she was clutching onto his arm with one hand and towing another luggage with the other.

"I never said i would, jagiya. That's out of the equation"  

"Ah, I was just trying my luck." Stupid Yoongi and his issues with expressing his real feelings. He's trying so hard to make the atmosphere light so that she doesn't have excess baggage when she leaves. Stupid, caring Yoongi.

They were standing before the inspection gates, parking beside so they don't block it. This is as far as Yoongi could go.

"So, unless you get a one way ticket to Minnesota, I guess this is where we say goodbye?" She said as she set the luggage up and let go of his hand to adjust her slingbag around her shoulder. Yoongi did not respond, he just nodded slightly as if to agree. He was scared to talk as there was a lump on his throat and he might throw-up or break down once he did start talking. But try as he might, it didn't matter anymore.

"I took the mat at your main door that night I went by for chicken and beer." He added quotation marks when he said chicken and beer to tease her about that night. "It's in front of my studio now. Why would you put that there anyway? It literally tells people to go away."

There was silence as waterworks were starting on her eyes yet she kept her gaze at him, making use of all the minutes she had left to look at him and at his eyes which are now starting to get glassy too.

"I hope you let people in. I don't want you to be alone out there."  Yoongi said, his sentences breaking like his chest and his voice. 

"Then you're the locking them out with it in front of your studio. Won't you be alone, then?" 

"First of all, It's my studio, I am supposed to work there alone. Second, the people i work with don't know about personal space. Especially that Hoseokii, so I'll be fine."  

She smiled at him and looked at the group of people putting their things on x-ray machines and spreading their hands to get inspected. "Remind me again why we have to break-up?" She asked as she looked back at him.

"We'll only end-up hating each other, Y/N. It will only be a series of tired video calls and stretched chats."

"We can try."

"Trust me, it's better this way."

"It's better to have nothing at all?"

"Woman, stop." He said as he held her cheeks to study her closely. "We're way past arguing, yeah? Bottom line is I don't believe in long distance relationships."

Another stretch of silence as they stood there with flooded eyes and wet cheeks. She went in for a hug a sobbed like a kid. He ran his hands along her head and down her back, against her hair.

"Yoongi, I-I" She couldn't get words out as she was fighting to breathe, taking in his scent. 

"Shh. I know, I know." He said as he pulled her in and made the hug tighter. "Damn it. Why do you have to go after big things like planes and dreams? big planes, and big dreams" he said with a chuckle at the curse word.

She pulled out of the hug, sniffled, fixed her hair and wiped her tears "Yoongi, you didn't think I agreed to become your girlfriend for your personality, did you?"

It took him a second but once he got the joke, he pushed her so she was kind of turning away--"Ahh, jinja, I don't believe this woman."--and playfully hit her butt "go, leave."

They were laughing now but it was time to go. No matter how much they made light of the situation, it plain-out sucked.

"I'm going now." They hugged, the tightest hug the world has ever known. He took her cheeks and planted a soft kiss. Another set of quiet tears started coming out again and she went on her tip toes to reach for his face and pull it down for another kiss, deeper and more passionate this time. Like a last meal. When they pulled away, he wiped her cheeks. 

"Jagiya, I'll always be proud of you." she felt how much he meant what he said

"And I, you jagi. I have always been proud of you. I'm going to miss you so much."  

"I can imagine." He said with a smile.

He hugged her and kissed the top of her head for the last time as they both said their 'i love you's.

"Let me know when you land." He commanded, to which she nodded.

She took her push cart and her luggage, looking back at his direction as he stayed to watch her walk-in until she made a turn, gone from his vision. 

 

He picked up his breathing as he was still standing there, alone, tears coming down his face. 'I must look pathetic. God this is gross' he thought to himself. Once he couldn't see her anymore, he started walking back to his car and he stayed there until the flight tracker on his phone announced that her flight already left.

 

When she finally settled down in the plane, she hid her face in her scarf and cried, ignoring the hustle and bustle around her. 'This better be fucking worth it' she thought. As the plane finally took off, she took a long last look of Korea.  _As soon as you leave Korean area of responsibility, so do you leave commitments behind... and that includes me,_ 'Fucking dick' She looked over at the city, now reduced by a hundred-fold and thought of the man she left behind. She knew he was gonna write songs about her.

 

 

 

 _Nae sarang (8:16am):_ Yoongi, I'm in Minnesota now. It's 6pm and soo cold here. I might need a Min blanket to keep me warm. kkkk

 _Nae sarang (8:16am):_ Oh, I shouldn't have said that. Mianhae.

 _Nae sarang (8:16am):_ I totally miss you already. I love you so, so , so much, Yoongi.

 _Me (9:30am):_ Nado, saranghae.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been trying to finish this before school started which is a few hours from when i publish this. It's 2:00am now and I have to leave at 7 for my 8:30 class. Anyway. I'm happy with how it came out. Let me know what you think.
> 
> As always, you can reach me at twt: @_yungi_min_  
> also, I made a playlist for every musical reference I made in line with this FF: https://open.spotify.com/user/12155968801/playlist/6G7teGMzL6AETRz3UdPZWR


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